Death or
Shades of Grayby Zenna
Angie walked towards the water, leaving Mira and Rollie talking. In her mind, she was hoping that the police would find something, anything. Any trace of the events that had rippled the now-still surface of the lake. But she knew that was unlikely. She had emptied Loubar's gun into the lake, but he had 'died' before.
As she walked, the ground under her changed. She was no longer walking on a dirt path, she was walking on a long thin walkway of blue glass. Angie shook her head and took another step. The glass remained there. She looked around wildly. The park had gone, to be replaced with - what? On her left was darkness. Pitch black, a vaccuum of light. On her right was...the opposite. A wall of light that somehow did nothing to illuminate the strip of glass, which seemed to glow very faintly. The light burned into her eyes, and she looked away.
~***~
Angie tried to turn around, but her feet would not move. She tried to take a step back, but couldn't. Every instinct in her body was telling her not to go forward.
You can never go back, Angela Ramirez. Angie looked around for the voice. It had not been spoken. It had just...appeared into the air.
In front of you, Miss Ramirez. Angie gulped and looked forward. A figure appeared, just a sillouhette, pale black on darker black.
No, Miss Ramirez. This is real. The figure moved closer, only a few steps, but it felt like more. I'm so sorry, Miss Ramirez. I hate reading people's minds. They can be so...unforgiving about it. But sometimes it is necessary. And please, stop trying to move back. You can never go back.
"Who are you?" Angie struggled to keep emotion out of her voice, trying to sound calm. The figure sighed at her question.
You wouldn't like the answer, you really wouldn't. If you ask again, I'm obliged to tell you, but I hope you won't.
"Are you....?" Angie's throat constricted, she couldn't finish her sentence.
The 'Grim Reaper'? No, he doesn't exist. Not in a way you would understand. Angie nodded. She wasn't about to ask for any more than that.
"Who are you, then?" Angie asked. "If you aren't Death." Oh God, why had she asked that?!
Oh dear, I told you not to ask! Now I have to tell you! The patch of black seemed to sigh.Well, if you must know, I'm...I'm...well, I'm sort of Death's secretary. And messenger, and odd-job-man, and tea-boy, and so on. I help Death deal with people. he's a bit antisocial. The figure gave a discreet cough.
"But you just said he didn't exist! Not as a person. Or...whatever." Angie's mind was screaming 'None of this exists! This isn't real!!', but for some reason, Angie couldn't believe it.
In a way you'd understand. Miss Ramirez, will you please ask why you're here? That's what you were supposed to say after i told you not to ask who I was. Angie stared. His...her..its tone was reproachful. She shrugged.
"Why am I here?" An air of satisfaction surrounded Death's messenger.
You are being given a chance that only a few people are ever granted. You are being allowed to choose your destiny. The figure's voice changed. it was now definitly a man's voice, deep and familiar, though Angie knew she had never heard it before. Every choice you have ever made has been a beginning and an ending. A start and a finish. But only now has it been...black and white. A decision with clear consequences.
"What...what's the choice?"
One decision will lead to the end of your life, and start your death. The other will be the postponement of your death, and the continuation of your present life.
"You're kidding, right?! I have no reason to want to end my life!" But as she said, a small picture crept into the corner of her mind.
Don't you? Let me show you your own mind, Miss Ramirez. A image appeared in the air. It was slightly wavy, like a bad hologram, but it seemed so real Angie almost believed she was there. This is your friend, Rollie Tyler, Miss Ramirez. He is unhappy.
As Angie watched, Mira came and sat down next to Rollie. They spoke for a minute, then Mira left. Rollie sighed and said "Yeah, what now...." The image disappeared.
"He'd be more unhappy if I was dead!" Angie tried not to wonder if he'd be as upset as she would be at his death. That was a thought she didn't want to share.
Would he really? You don't have much time. Make your choice.
"I - I can't." It was a whisper. A few minutes ago, she wouldn't have hesitated. She didn't want to to die, not even after what Loubar had done to her. But if it would make Rollie happy then she would willingly, even joyously die. She would do anything. "Can't you...."
If you wish, Miss Ramirez, I will make that decision. But it will always haunt you that you could not.
"Angela." Angie stared at her mother. "Follow your heart, Angela." She faded away, replaced by Angie's father.
"Angela. It is not your time yet." Before she could say or ask any of the thousands of thoughts swirling on her mind, her father was gone too.
Make your choice!
She felt as if she were made of ice. Images rushed through her head. Loubar kissing her. Loubar making love to her. With her. Rollie's embrace when he found out she'd been raped. His face when she told him she thought it was him. That it hadn't been rape until it had been Loubar. And the expression on his face when he had said "Yeah, what now...."
"I want to be with Rollie." She spoke clearly, sounded confident, but it was taking all her control not to scream, burst into tears, or just simply collapse. "I want to live."
A pillar of blue light shot out of the glass. Its glow was strong enough to penetrate both the darkness and the light.
Go ahead.
"What do I do now?"
Take a step. Left or right is up to you. One way will take you to your life, the other to what you insist on calling your death.
"Which way is which?"
You must find that out yourself. Good luck, Miss Ramirez.
Angie tried to step forwards, but was again frozen to the stop. And this time, she was alone. Alone, in a reality that was worse than her most feared nightmare. Alone, in a nightmare that was worse than her most feared reality. She no longer knew which was true.
On her right a human form stepped out of the light and onto the glass in front of her. A matching form came from the left.
Angie stared at the two Rollies. It was like reliving the last half-hour. Then, she had shot Rollie. Now she might kill herself. Maybe Rollie would kill himself when he knew she was dead.
Neither Rollie spoke. Angie looked at them, and closed her eyes for a minute. Opening her eyes, she walked between the men, and stepped into the blue pillar.
~***~
Angie Ramirez fell forward, stumbling, and landed half in, half out the water. She stood up and looked around. As she watched, Mira walked up to Rollie and spoke to him. After a while, she walked away. Rollie turned to look at the lake, and although Angie was too far away to make out the words, she was sure it was what she had seen...in Death? In a twisted part of Life? Or just what her imagination made up?
Looking at him, Angie's thoughts echoed Rollie's words.
What now?