Chapter 12
 

Rollie had been walking around the neighborhood for about an hour.  He just walked with no particular path or destination in mind.  His feet seemed to know where to go and the pace, too.  He ended up at Blarney Stone for about an hour or so, but the bar reminded him too much of Leo McCarthy and the good times two of them had there which is why he left early.

Without his realizing it, Rollie’s feet had their own destination; they took him to Midtown South.  He realized that other than the loft, this was the only other place he was that at times felt like home.  When he finally got there, he didn’t know what to do.  He knew Mira or Frank was probably still there but what was he going to say to them that would explain his presence to them?
 
 

Frank was gathering his papers up to be readied for the next day’s briefing when the desk sergeant called up saying that he had a visitor and should he be given access to the detective’s room.  Frank smiled and gave the sergeant permission once he found out who the visitor was.  "Woohoo.  Jackson, you are new and believe me, this man is going to be a permanent fixture on your mind. Wait my friend"  Frank laughed at his own joke; he got the same treatment from Leo.  He did the exact procedure that Sgt. Jackson did.  He was new to the precinct and since Rollie wasn’t part of the NYPD or reporting a crime, it was standard.  Now it seems he had full run of the place, except if you talked to VanDuren.

"Rollie, my man.  What brings you over here?  Slumming?"  Frank was still packing up his papers when the Australian walked over to him.  "Hey, you ok? Not talking too much.  So, what gives?"

Rollie had sat down in Frank’s chair while the detective still was puttering around the squad room.  Turning a pencil over in his hands, he asked, "Where is Mira?  She still here?"

"Uh…actually no.  She went home about half-hour ago."  That question brought Frank to a stand still.  "You need to talk to her?  I can have her paged, you know.  I think she said her date was the laundromat.  So, I don’t think you would be bothering her."  Frank moved over to sit at Mira’s desk, the one that faced Frank’s.  "Rol?  What  do you want?"

"No, no…I don’t need to talk to her.  Actually, I wasn’t sure what I wanted until you asked."  Tossing the pencil back onto the desk, Rollie exhaled deeply before he started.  "um…Josh and I went to dinner tonight.  It was the first time in long time, and Frank I mean long.  It was great, no bad memories, no mood swings.  We talked about work and Auss.  It was great, I needed that."

"And?"  Grabbing the hockey puck that he got Messier to autograph before he left for  Vancouver, Frank started to fidget as much as Rollie was.  "C’mon. I know that there is more.  You went dinner, had a good time AND!?"   Frank, being the true Italian that he is, was using his hands to prompt Rollie along in his story.

"We started to do some work on this camera.  In fact, there was a picture of you in it that I just developed today.  Your girls will love it. "  He got up and paced around the small room.  ‘It never looked this small before.  Not when Leo was working here, not when I came here to help them, not when I came here so I could identify…’ he stopped that train of thought.  The tall man rubbed his hands over his face as if that would wash away the pain and misery. "The pictures that I developed tonight with Josh, well I had forgotten that they even existed.  They were still in the camera.  One of them was a shot of Angie a couple of days before she died.  It was the last time that I was actually with her.  We had spent the day working on some or other gadget and I said I would take her to dinner."

He smiled when he thought of that night.  "She yelled at me said that I never gave her enough time to get ready for anything, whether it was dinner, work….anything.  I took the picture just after we finished having a pillow fight."  He moved back to the desks and again sat down at Frank’s.  This time the smile was gone and in its place were tears, unshed.  "I had completely forgotten about it, about the day.  It was a really good day.  Josh was there when I saw it again.  I told him that I took it while testing out the camera. I didn’t want him to know how much this picture really does mean to me.  I-um- eh-" Rollie had to  look away and clear his throat before continuing, "never told you or anyone else this but on that day, the day of the picture, Angie told me that she loved me."

"Oh.  Oh." Frank was speechless, THAT was not was he was expecting to hear. He knew that there might have been something between them.  In fact over the years, he and Leo used to bet each other when they would finally admit it to the world.  Mira had said something along those lines to Sarah and him too but now that it was admitted to, it was weird to hear it.  "um and that is a good thing?"

"It was until two days later.  Two days after she said that she was in love with me, two days after I admitted the same thing, two days after she and I crossed the boundary that separates friends and lovers.  Two days later she was killed.  Do you understand now why I have been a huge basket case for the last six months?  Does it any way make sense?  I mean does that, can it justify why on Earth I am so damned miserable?!  Does it?"