Chapter 7
 

Rollie was still looking at the envelope, still in his own little world.  A world that didn’t have Angela; a world that meant he was very lonely…very. The letter meant, represented what he hated; he hated the system, he hated criminals, he hated boats and at times himself for letting her do that stupid ‘favor’ for Elena, who was not high on his list of favorite people at any given moment.
 

"Rollie, I really didn’t mean to hurt you.  I just wanted to , you know , get to know you and Angie better", Kieran defended himself.  He threw Joshua a look that basically meant "HELP!!!"  Joshua could sympathize with his cousin. There were times like now that Rollie just could not be reached by any human being.  When he did come out of these funks, he did one of two things.  He would a) get really mad at whoever was the closest and take his frustrations out or b) go to The Blarney Stone, a chain of Irish bars that populated Manhattan, and try to drink himself silly.  More often than not he did both; that is when  he got really bad.  "I am sorry, Ok??  I mean it.  Rollie are you there, are you with us?"
 

Now it was Joshua’s turn, "Rollie??  Do you want us to do anything? I mean it; we’ll do it.  For real."
 

"Can you bring Angela back?  Because if you can’t, then leave me the hell alone.  I don’t need your pity or your sympathy."
 

"Hey, that is not fair!!  We didn’t anything wrong!!  WE are not the ones that left you!!"
 

"Kieran, you had better watch your mouth!!" Rollie told his cousin as his voice rose on each word.
 

"Kieran, not now; not like this.  Later, when we have all calmed down a bit." Joshua, who just abhorred confrontations, advised.
 

"Are you kidding!?!?" Kieran, who had risen his voice to match Rollie’s decibel for decibel, was on a roll and there was no way anyone could stop him. "No, Joshua.  This has got to be said.  We live and work with his moods.  We have  to be nice to him.  We have to wait for him to adjust, we have to wait for him to accept this ‘tragedy’ , we have to wait for him to calm down. There will never be a time for that.  Mr. Tyler will never be calm. He lives for this; he WANTS to be miserable; he wants to be depressed.  He wants to be depressed over a girl who isn’t even here…she’s dead, Rollie.  GET  IT THRU YOUR THICK HEAD!!!  SHE IS DEAD!!!  DEAD…DEAD…DEAD!!!!"
 

There was total silence in the room.  Kieran stood over by the stairs going up to Rollie’s private sector, breathing hard, almost panting.  Trying to recover the lost energy he used in his tirade to his cousin, he thought about what he just did and decided that if Tyler wanted a fight…he was going to get one.
 

Joshua was literally ,and figuratively, in the middle.  He was caught between his cousins. He was caught in his emotions for both of them. Joshua was blessed (or cursed if he was asked of it) with the ability to see both sides of an argument and understand each one without nay saying either one. Joshua loved being in NYC and adored his new career that he discovered along with the cousin that came with it.  Rollie had taught him so much; things that he could never learn from Kieran or from Australia.  Rollie Tyler was his best bet for having a career, not just a job.  It was interesting, he was good at it, Rollie thought he was good, too.  That meant  *SO* much; Joshua didn’t  have a father around while he was growing up and subconsciously made Rollie his father figure.   But then again, Rollie wasn’t there when he was growing up in Sydney.  Kieran was the one that kept the bullies away, Kieran was the one that kept the loneliness away.  Kieran was his cousin and his best friend. And at this moment, Kieran was right…maybe not how he did it, but the message was clear: Rollie had to get over this now or he never will.
 

Rollie was over by the couch that he used.  He stood stock still just looking at Kieran with fire in his eyes.  "You….you have the nerve to tell me that you didn’t do anything wrong!?  You read my mail even though I asked you and then told you not to!!  Kieran, what gives you the right?" At this point, Rollie was walking over to Kieran  and Kieran was moving in the opposite direction but not taking his eyes off Rollie.  They looked like boxers in the ring circumventing each other, trying to size each other up before the big blow is
landed and all out war is declared.  And as always, Joshua was the referee.
 

"Rollie, we and I do emphasize the word we, didn’t do it to hurt you or make you mad.  We just needed to get the facts to help you?"
 

"Help me?!?  Joshua, he read my mail…"
 

"After you asked him to.  I mean you did ask him to; we didn’t have to tell that letter was there.  Would you rather us lied to you?"
 

"BLOODY HELL YES!"
 

"Yeah, right.  You would want us to lie to you about this girl?  You can’t even say her name without having some kind of apoplexy and you can say this with a straight face??  Now I KNOW that you are delusional!!" Kieran shouted across the room.
 

"That’s it, Kieran!! I have had it…you’re a dead man!!"
 
 

At that moment, Frank Gatti and Mira Sanchez walk in.  "ROLLIE!!!  Calm down!! Do you hear me!?  I want you to calm down!" Mira yelled in Rollie’s face.  But it was Francis that actually pulled Rollie away while Josh held Kieran back.
 

"Hey! You guys are family…" and at Kieran’s snort of indignation and Rollie’s steely glance he continued, "You are!!  I mean aside from Dingo, the three of you are the only family, the only Tylers in this country!!  You have to learn how to get along…Mira, you hear this?!  Sound like I’m talking to my girls!!
God, I’m turning into my old man, never thought that would happen."
 

"Yeah, I hear.   The only difference, Frank, is that your girls really do listen and understand.  I don’t know with these bozos." With a look of disgust, she walked to the kitchen to get a damp rag for the cousins.  When she returned she gave it to Joshua, who looked like he was ready to faint. "See??  Do you see what the two of you have done to him?? You have to be more aware of what is around you; not just think of yourselves! OK!?  Now, calmly, what happened?"  Mira asked to no one in particular but hoping for some
answer.  "Ok, Joshua.  You seem to be the only one here with a brain.."
 

"HA!" was Kieran’s response and he got a dirty look from Mira and a shove from Frank that put him on the couch. "So, let’s hear it.  What started them off this time?"
 

"The letter."
 

"The letter?"
 

"Yeah, the letter.  The one Rollie got like 5 months from Angela…"
 

"The one he doesn’t want to read, the one he wants thrown away. Now, I wonder where that letter could be? Well, looky here it’s in his hands.  Must be on his way over to the trash can, huh cousin?" Kieran sneered.
 

"OK, ok, that’s enough from you.  Why don’t you and Joshua go upstairs and clean yourself off." Francis recommended.
 

"I don’t need a baby-sitter!"
 

"Yeah, ya do!!  Now move!!!  You too(as he motioned to Josh)…keep him out of trouble" Francis said to the younger Tylers as they moved towards the private living quarters.
 

"Rollie?  What was Kieran and Josh talking about? What letter from Angie?  And what did they mean by ‘5 months ago’?  Rollie, talk to us.  We are on your side, remember?" Mira pressed on, "What did Kieran do that would set you off like this?"
 

"It’s nothing, Mira. OK?  Kieran is being Kieran; which means he is getting on my nerves.  It’s just…time that he and I talked about him staying here."
 

"No, that is not going to cut it, Tyler.  You looked like you were after blood when we came in here.  Specifically, your cousin’s.  Granted from what I know of Kieran he can be a bit of a pain in the ass…but that is no reason to hurt him."
 

"She’s right, Rol.  The last time I saw you looking like that was when Leo….Oh, man.  Rollie? You had BEST talk to us" Francis admonished his friend as realization clicked in.
 

"What??  Frank, what is going on here?"
 

"Sorry, Mira.  I keep forgetting you really weren’t on Rollie’s ,or mine for that matter, good side when we first met.  After Leo died and we got Capricio, Rollie still couldn’t handle it.  So, he and I went to ‘visit’ Leo to see if it would lessen and it didn’t.  But he eventually was able to deal with it, right?"
 

During his conversation with Mira, Frank noticed Rollie just moving about aimlessly around the workshop.  He never took his eyes off the tall man; he saw the same signs…only this time they were worse.
 

"OK, so how did the two of you deal with it?  I mean it’s not easy to lose your partner that way."
 

"I went home at night to Sarah, my wife and my friend.  She is the only one who saw me cry for Leo, for myself, for Colleen and I hugged my kids a lot, still do.  Rollie, went to Angie; who was mourning her friend Leo also, but not as much as he did.  Angie was Rollie’s outlet like Sarah is mine."
 

"OK? I kinda figured and…?"
 

"You don’t get it??  There is no Angie; there is no outlet!!  He was like this just before I went under to get Capricio…not thinking not caring." Frank turned to the man who had his undivided attention, "You my friend need to cope with this and I mean like now.  Rol, you know how you get.  This is not good."
 

"Frank, I can’t do it; I can’t cope with out her anymore.  I don’t know what to do.  I mean I know that all of you mean well, including Kieran, but can you tell me what the time limit is on being hurt?  There are days when it’s ok and then days like today where I see every little thing for those last couple of days and I think ‘What if I did this or What if…’" Throwing his hands in the air, he moved over to where the two detectives stood, "I know I have to move on.  But how?  I mean no one here has lost what I lost; no one here can tell me how to feel.  Craziest thing yet is that the only one that probably can help me is the last one I want to see….my father"