Note: Okay, this popped into my head. I wanted to write it in one session,
hence the lack of plot (it seems.) But it all has a certain charm to it
that I really liked. Besides, apart from my novel, I haven't written much.
I've also been missing the F/X universe. So, here's a little tale that
doesn't necessarily have to be an F/X tale, but it sure is fun all the
same. I guess it kind of goes with my other Eldon story, which I wrote
so long ago I can't even remember its name. Well, anyway, what you think,
eh, guys? *g*
"Eldon!"
Eldon turned around, seeing an old woman come running toward him, her arms wide open. "Mama Sophia!" he exclaimed, hugging the woman tightly. "Jeez, I haven't seen you in, what, must have been three days now!"
"I fix you something good for breakfast!" Mama Sophia said, running back behind the formica counter of her little diner. "What you like today?" she called out through a little window in the wall.
Eldon winced as there was a loud hiss, like she had thrown something liquid onto a scalding hot pan. "Anything, Mama, your cooking is delicious!"
The old woman turned and grinned at Eldon, then went back to her cooking.
Eldon set his ballcap down on the counter, and glanced around the restaurant. It was his favourite place to eat when he didn't feel like cooking by himself. It had a typical diner atmosphere, with a slight smoky haze, that remained undisturbed by the slowly rotating ceiling fan. The walls and the tiled floor were relatively gray from years of smoke and dirt being caked in. The counter, he noticed, had been recently replaced, and was the newest and shiniest thing in the whole room.
Across from him, beside the kitchen window, was a juice cooler. He strained to look into the kitchen, and noticing Mama Sophia wasn't watching, he scooted around the counter. Grabbing a plastic glass, he quickly filled it with the coloured juice.
"What you doing!" Mama Sophia said, sticking her head out from the kitchen door. She laughed. "You drinking my tropical juice now?"
"Ah, well, Mama," Eldon stuttered, "I - it's so good!"
Mama's face changed from stern to pleased. "I know, it is, isn't it?" she said, grinning so hard her eyes almost seemed to close. She brushed her wispy black hair over her ears and ran back into the kitchen again, where the lovely smell of food began to waft out into the restaurant.
Eldon had to admire Mama. A widow, she had had the restaurant since before he was born. Located in one of the toughest neighbourhoods, he had to wonder how she managed to live so happily without worry of gangs or gunman. He wondered if she had ever gotten in danger. But she seemed to be a tough cookie, as his Mama was fond of saying.
As usual, Mama's was slow this hour of the morning. Only two other people were in the restaurant, drinking coffee from chipped beige mugs that had seen better days. They were sitting in a booth at the back, completely involved in their conversation. Eldon crossed back around the counter again, eyeing the desserts under a plastic cover on the counter. Today, it seemed, Mama Sophia had baked some cinnamon rolls.
Before he could do anything, Mama Sophia appeared from the kitchen carrying a plate piled high with food. Hash browns, greasy bacon, and scrambled eggs were piled high on the plate. Mama Sophia grabbed a napkin and some silverware for Eldon, who grinned at the sight of the food. "Ah, looks delicious!" he said.
"It is!" she said, grinning again. "So, what you doing now, eh, Eldon dear?"
Eldon hungrily shovelled a forkful of eggs in his mouth. They were soft and buttery, and exceptional for diner fare. He shovelled another forkful into his mouth. "Ah, we are working on a new movie, Mama," he said, his mouth full.
"Oh really?" Mama said. As was her habit, she turned down the radio on the counter so that she could focus completely on Eldon's conversation, which was often the highlight of her day. "What now? Aliens from outer space? Vampires? War?"
"Better, much better," Eldon said. "This one's about a serial murderer."
Mama gasped. "Oh, dear!"
"He lives in a small town, where there are mysterious deaths. These deaths are traced back to a problem from a local health clinic. So he goes on a secret killing spree, killing those people he feels were responsible for the deaths. Oh, that's right," he said, remembering more details. "His wife was one of the people killed."
Mama Sophia opened her eyes wide in fascination. "It sounds exciting!" she said.
"Yep!" Eldon said. "It's Rollie's first turn at scriptwriting."
"Who's Rol-l-lie?" Mama said, rolling the R on her tongue.
"Don't you remember Rollie, Mama?" Eldon asked. "I told you about him many times. He's one of the effects people I work with."
"Oh, that Rollie! Of course I know him!" Mama said, unconvincingly. "You gotta remember, dear, I'm cooped up in this diner here all day. I forget. I'm getting old, euh? ... So this Rollie wrote it himself?"
"Yes he did," Eldon said. He stabbed a hash brown, and bit into it. It was hot, and he yelped.
"Be careful!" Mama said, laughing.
"Uh, yeah -- thanks," Eldon said, trying to take the hot potato out of his mouth without appearing rude. "Mmm, this is so good, I don't want to wait for it to cool down."
"Oh, you're so cute!" Mama said, unable to resist pinching his cheek. "You know how to please an old woman -- compliment her cooking!"
Eldon laughed. "So Rollie wrote this thing. And guess what? He's gotten pull with the director to let me have a cameo in it?"
"A cameo?" Mama said, pronouncing the word slowly.
"A quick appearance," Eldon explained. "And today's the day!"
"For your cameo?"
"Yep!" Eldon said.
"So what do you play?"
"A dead guy."
"A what?"
"A dead guy."
Mama shook her head. "All these people dying, sheesh, it is horrible!"
"It's only the movies, Mama."
Mama shook a crooked finger, chuckling. "But you never know who life can imitate the movies. When I was young -- back in the dark ages -- you never had to worry about murderers getting you. Now we're in New York -- anything could happen."
"Don't worry Mama, you won't get killed," Eldon said. "No one's going to try to take you out."
"They'd better not!" Mama laughed. She reached under the counter, and pulled a handgun out halfway. Eldon recoiled slightly in surprise, and Mama laughed. "And I know how to use it! It was one of the few useful things Papa Gino taught me before he left for the pearly gates, you see?"
Eldon dabbed his mouth with a napkin, staring at the empty plate. "Well, Mama, how much do I owe you today?"
"Couple dollars," she said, making her way behind the counter to an old cash register. "That is all -- today I'm generous."
"Good thing, too," Eldon said, pulling out his skinny wallet.
"You should shop at the Supermarket Club," she said, ringing in his meal. He handed five dollars, and she gave him back two. "You keep it -- go buy yourself stuff in bulk. It cheaper. Believe me."
"Thanks Mama!" Eldon said, about to leave.
"Oh, by the way, Eldon!" she called to him, just as he was about to leave. "How were you killed?"
"I get strangled."
"Strangled! Oh dear!"
"It's only the movies, Mama," Eldon said, making his way out the door. "You keep yourself safe, eh?"
"Be back soon!" Mama Sophia said, waving as he left. When he was gone, she leaned back against the wall. "Ah, he is so cute!"
Eldon's car's tires squealed as he stopped quickly at the sidewalk in front of Mama Sophia's place. It was late afternoon, and Rollie had heard the call over the police scanner as they were wrapping up the shoot. Eldon had immediately ran to his car to see what had happened. The police radio had said that there was a possibility people were "down." Eldon didn't want to know what that meant.
To Eldon's relief, a familiar screeching voice could be heard through the doorway. Eldon ran to the door, and saw the restaurant filled with police officers. He recognized Mira as one of them. Mama Sophia was behind the counter, which she was wiping, dramatically discussing with the police what had happened. "And then he come through here, wanting money. So then I go to the cash, and reach under the counter and grab my gun, and bash him on the head, BOOM! Just like that, eh?"
Mira, chuckling, replaced her notebook. "Well, it sure was nice of you to tie him up for us," she said.
Mama caught Eldon's eye. "Oh, Eldon, Eldon!"
"Mama, Mama, are you all right?" Eldon asked, running toward her. Eldon was shocked. He had known the woman was tough. But she'd knocked the guy out and tied him up? Wow ....
"Oh yes, I'm fine," she said, sternly. "I just wanted to say you left your hat here." She put his hat on the counter.
Eldon raised his eyebrows, and laughed. "Oh, thanks. You're amazing, Mama." She grinned.
"Well, Mama, I guess we'd better be going," Mira said, turning away.
"Wait!" Mama said.
Mira turned. "Yes?"
Mama shrugged. "Dinner special is tortellini with cheese sauce. You will stay to eat?"
Mira glanced at Eldon, who grinned weakly. "You've just met Mama."