I guess I should have seen it earlier.

But I couldn't have seen it.

Or should I have been able to?

She knew exactly what buttons to press. Dammit, she WAS a good actress, despite what I said out loud. She knew just how to wrench the sympathy out of me. Every time that I said something -- I'm too busy, it's impossible, or here, call my friend Leo -- she just spun it around and made me want to help her even more. It was the perfect performance.

That's what I should have seen. It was all too perfect.

And I was even blinded by my feelings for her. When a man is alone with a woman like -- a woman like HER -- what else would he think of? It was all I could do to resist her charms. Right up to when we were in the train station, and we reached the ticket line, I thought she had to escape. I urged her to go, and forget me. But when she turned around, and stared at me through the prosthetic -- MY own prosthetic -- I suddenly didn't want her to go any more. I didn't want her to leave, I didn't want her to leave me.

Her character -- Jennifer -- was so strong. That was what convinced me. She knew I was her last resort, and she pushed on desperately to get my help. Until I finally gave in.

What was I thinking?

At least Leo understands. He's my mate ... of course he understands. Anyone could have been fooled by Lucinda. She was that good. But those FBI agents don't know anything -- they wouldn't understand. Fortunately, Leo knew that he couldn't let me stand around any more after we saved Lucinda at her apartment. Now I'm in his car, with Jennifer -- I mean, Lucinda. We're on our way to Phil Donner's house.

What was Phil thinking? Was he the one who hired the couple who shot at us? How could he have? And he hired Lucinda to do what -- make sure I didn't have an alibi? Then he must have hired those goons, because my only alibi could have been from Lucinda.. So Phil would have had to kill her to eliminate all doubt.

Bastard. That bloody bastard.

Now I've got Lucinda with me. And -- I guess I feel sorry for her. She feels so horrible. You can see it in her eyes, the way she looks. No longer is there the weak and strong character of Jennifer, an oxymoronic character, if you can call it that. She was the one I fell in love with. Jennifer. Not Lucinda.

Now I see the real Lucinda. Her eyes are wet. She's crying. As much as I want to, I can't hate her. Maybe there isn't as much of a difference between her and Jennifer after all. She's weak, but she's still holding up, still holding in. She wants to help, and she wants to get back at Phil as much as I do. We just have to get to the bottom of this.

She's still strong. And we can do this.

She's smiling. I can't help but smile back. She's not Jennifer, she's Lucinda. Jennifer wanted help. Lucinda wants to help. But they're still the same person.

They are the same person.
 

But now the question remains. Who am I in love with?